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No Sour Grapes in this Conflict
What would you do if someone secretly took grapes from your garden? Would you get mad? Feel like a victim? Blame the neighbors and call them thieves? Put up a fence to protect your property? Post angry...
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Separation as a Cause of Conflict and Violence
Misunderstandings, resentments, and differences can fuel conflicts in the workplace or any place. But the longer I work to understand and heal my own resentments and conflicts, and the more I work...
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Let Go of “Shoulds” and Expectations at Work (or Anywhere)
Shoulds and expectations are a big source of conflict. If we have a clear, though completely unrealistic expectation of how the other person should behave, or what should happen, we can get ourselves...
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We’re All in This Together: Listening to Each Other in Troubled Times
Hope and despair in the landscape of today. It is challenging to hold on to a hope of peaceful coexistence, harmony, and positive conflict resolution in light of all the mass shootings, terrorist...
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Healing Old Hatreds at Work or Anywhere
One of the sources of unresolved conflict at work and elsewhere can be unconscious (or conscious) bias and prejudice. But instead of reacting, you can choose to respond and communicate. A few years...
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Civil Conversations with “the Enemy”—A Tool for Working through Conflict
How can you have a civil conversation with people you think are absolutely wrong, even evil? Is it even possible to talk to “impossible” people when you seriously disagree about politics or religion,...
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The Kindness of Strangers—Wildfires, Empathy, and Conflict
Kindness and empathy can defuse conflict at work, or disagreements even in the midst of disasters. My beloved Sonoma County and Santa Rosa (California) have been engulfed in flames. As I write...
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Managing Conflict with your Inner Critic
Many of us have a vocal inner critic, who tells us what we’re doing wrong, how what we’re trying won’t work, Many of us have a vocal inner critic, who tells us what we’re doing wrong, how what...
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Conflict at Work—the Power of Envisioning Harmony
A powerful tool for healing and transforming conflict at work is affirming and envisioning harmony. One of the ways I support clients to resolve conflict is helping them reimagine what is possible....
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The Power of Trying in Conflict Management
The Power of Trying in Conflict Management The power of trying often gets a bad rap in today’s culture. I remember years ago being told that “if you’re trying, you’re planning to fail.” Nike says “Just...
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Effective Conflict Management versus a Quick “Fix”
Photo by Daniel Hjalmarsson on Unsplash Effective Conflict Management versus a Quick “Fix”Sometime potential individual clients or institutions and organizations who want to hire me are looking for a...
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Break & Repair vs. Preventive Maintenance in Workplace Conflict
Jacek.NL via photopin (license) Are you waiting until relationships are broken to deal with workplace conflict? Tip: this is not the most effective way to deal with disagreements and problems! Recently...
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Healing our Divisions in Troubled Times
How can we heal the deep divisions in our country? How do we talk to each other with compassion and empathy across our differences? My blog, which I have been writing for eleven years this month (!)...
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The Power of Story to Shift Conflict
Photo by Alina Grubnyak on Unsplash The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. — Muriel Rukeyser Understanding your story about a conflict, and how to shift and open up that story, is a powerful...
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Changing Hearts, Minds, and Behavior around Conflict
Photos by Fakurian Design and Debby Hudson on UnSplash, graphic design by Lorraine Segal Before I start teaching a course or workshop about conflict management, I always tell my students that I have a...
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The Value of Venting
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash When someone or something hurts or angers you, is there a value in venting? Some social scientists and conflict management experts think venting is counterproductive,...
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